Back to Home

The Power of Starting Over

The Power of Starting Over

It’s interesting to see how people tend to give up only after their first try. Especially when they fail their first execution… I’m curious as to when this behavior is learned and became such a strict rule that it stops people from trying over and over again until they achieve their initial goal. Sometimes it might be easier to forget that each time we start doing something over, we reset ourselves in order to start with a fresh new angle.

So every start over can be considered an improvement from our previous tries.

This is why we should always keep reminding ourselves that we tend to get affected by our environments.

As human beings, we feel that we must succeed at whatever we do. Whether going to the gym, losing weight, forming a new habit, or starting a project at work while doing so, we’re all naturally affected by the people around us, such as friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors. Yet for some reason we tend to focus more on the negative. As long as we grasp this reality, it shouldn’t be so hard to adapt accordingly.

As I was reading “The Boron Letters” by Gary C. Halbert I’ve come across a related part on how we should try again and again and again until we succeed. To make this process more effective, it’s better to keep your goals and actions secret until they’re achieved. Otherwise, we would put ourselves under the pressure of our environment, and unless we’re lucky to be surrounded by amazing people who encourage us no matter what, our probability of failure rises considerably.

The practice of keeping our goals and objectives to ourselves until we achieve them comes with a huge secret benefit. While the human mind is still an enigma to us, and we’ve barely scratched the surface, we were able to come up with solid information about the way the mind works with decades of scientific research and investigation.

Here’s a quote on the subject:

“In 1933, W. Mahler found that if a person announced the solution to a problem, and was acknowledged by others, it was now in the brain as a “social reality”, even if the solution hadn’t actually been achieved.”

So according to science, when we put our goals into words and start telling people about our plans, our brain tends to create some sort of satisfaction as if those goals were achieved, and as a direct result, our initial motivation is diminished.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? A theory nonetheless but still it’s something to think about…

Life is all about ups and downs. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail. Sometimes we feel amazing, sometimes we feel down. We win or we lose. When we acknowledge this amazing balance in the cycle of life, we’ll be able to adapt accordingly and balance our expectations.

There is only one simple rule to keep in mind:

Always do your best!

That’s right. As long as we do our best, about the thing we can control, we won’t be worried too much about the results. Because we did what we could and the rest is up to the universe.

Let’s try to apply the following workflow to our daily life. Everything we do must have a strong reason behind it. The reasons are the motivations that drive us toward our goals.

Here’s a 30-day challenge I’ve come up with. I will pick one of my goals in life, and apply this workflow for the next 30 days:

  • Step 1: Set your vision (WHAT): What am I going to accomplish?
  • Step 2: Set your mission (HOW): How am I going to accomplish it?
  • Step 3: Set your plan (WHEN): What’s my plan to achieve my goal?
  • Step 4: Set your strategy: How am I going to execute my plan?
  • Step 5: Work hard and do your best: Which daily habits should I build to achieve my goal?
  • Step 6: Be patient: Be consistent, work on a daily basis and stay calm
  • Step 7a: Failure? Learn your lesson, and start over! So head over to #1.
  • Step 7b: Success? Congratulate yourself, celebrate modestly, be proud of yourself and move on!

Enjoy the randomness of life…

Enjoyed this article?

Get my latest thoughts on building software, business, and life delivered to your inbox.

No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

My Random Thoughts

Discipline vs Motivation: The Love-Fear Spectrum of Action

Discipline vs Motivation: The Love-Fear Spectrum of Action

When you’re working on a cool software project that solves a real world problem, you’re operating from love. This intrinsic motivation is exciting. Compare that to a 9-5 job done just to maintain a lifestyle – here fear of losing financial security is the main driver.

11/18/2024
The Older You Get, the Better You Surf

The Older You Get, the Better You Surf

Nobody tells you this when you're young and hungry and absolutely convinced you can outwork reality itself. Getting older comes with one advantage that took me three decades to notice—learning when to knock the door until it opens and when to just surf the wave. After spending my teens, twenties, and thirties forcing every door open, I discovered that the harder you punch life in the face, the harder it punches you back. Now in my early 40s, my entire system comes down to one question: what needs to be done right now? Do it completely, let go of the outcome, and move on. It sounds like giving up—until you've paid the full cost of the alternative.

3/2/2026
Your Reflection Will Never Change Until You Do

Your Reflection Will Never Change Until You Do

You don't need to grind harder to change your life — you need to see what's actually happening inside your mind. Awareness is the real lever. And once you start paying attention, you realize your life works like a mirror: it reflects back exactly what you are on the inside, but with a delay. Most people quit before the reflection catches up. This is a note to my future self about why the inner work comes first, and why the latency isn't failure — it's protection.

4/7/2026